


Through Parallels and Alternatives

by DoomKitteh



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: AUs, Alternate Universe, Comedy, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4474145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomKitteh/pseuds/DoomKitteh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a bunch of AU's from Tumblr. Mostly Sam/Ashley. Will probably feature FemShep/Liara somewhere down the line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Drunk and Not My Roommate

**Author's Note:**

> Using mostly for exercises. Hoping it'll kick start my brain into working on those other in progress things I have going woops. Plus these made me laugh, so I decided to post them. For the most part they will all just be one-shots. I also barely go over these to fix shit so kind of,but not really sincere, apology about any mistakes.

Samantha groaned into her pillow when she heard stumbling coming from outside her room. She squeezed her eyes tight and tried covering her ears more with her pillow hoping that it would magically make the loud fumbling of her roommate dissipate.

Muffled curses and the sound of something, that had better not be her chess set, crashing to the ground caused her to whimper and finally motivate her to get up and check on her roommate.

Putting on her best pouting angry face, she stomped to her door and threw it open, “Goddamn it Brooks, what the— hell— who are you?”

A woman, and if she were honest and goddamn attractive drunken mess, was sprawled out in her living room. The woman lying half on the shoulder of the couch and half on the floor, blinked owlishly and grinned when Sam finally came into her line of vision.

“Heeeeeyyy…” the woman gagged soon after and Sam blanched at the thought of cleaning some strangers mess.

“Ok look, I can see, and smell, that you’re drunk as shit but—” she took a glance towards the front door and noticed it still locked and deadbolted, “how the bloody hell did you even get in here?”

“Your voice is sound.” The woman giggled and slid to the ground with a thud.

“What?” Sam grabbed the umbrella sitting in her room before standing on the opposite end of the couch, trying to peer around it to see the woman currently laying on her floor.

“That thing. Your words. Not the same. Heh, it's nice.”

“Yeah ok that’s— that’s great but seriously,” Sam took a few steps closer, trying to see if her umbrella was long enough to reach the woman who suddenly moaned and curled in on herself, “how did you get in here?”

“Please. Stop. Talking.” The words were choked out and it took sam a moment to realize the woman started crying.

“No, no nono. No please, don’t cry. Oh god help,” Sam looked to her umbrella four times before hugging it for all it was worth and slowly inched towards the woman on the ground. She sat down a few feet away far enough to reach the other woman’s shoulder and pat it awkwardly. “There, there— uh stranger in my apartment.”

“Ash-Ashley.”

“Right ok, um…” god the woman looked like a mess and Sam could barely stand the smell of alcohol reeking off this woman but she also couldn’t sit around like a jackass and not comfort her. I am going to comfort someone who broke into my place. what the hell is wrong with me? “Ok, Ashley? Look whatever it is, it can’t be that bad can it?”

Ashley glared through tears and snot and it took all Sam had not to laugh at how not intimidating it really was, “Ok sorry I’ll just…” Sam was was now close enough that she awkwardly put her arm around Ashley’s shoulder and grunted when Ashley slammed her head into Sam’s arm, sobbing even harder.

Sam had no idea how much time had passed with her slowly rubbing Ashley’s arm, that had eventually led her to running her fingers through Ashley's hair. She doesn’t all remember how that came about, but she hadn’t been aware that Ashley had fallen asleep until she heard the beginnings of a snore.

“Oh thank christ,” she whispered, now trying to maneuver herself out from under the woman. She whimpered when after struggling for a minute that she couldn’t move from the tight hold Ashley had on her.

 

* * *

 

“Sam.”

“Go ‘way.”

“Sam, some woman is throwing up in our bathroom and I’ve never met her before.”

“S’Ashley.”

“Ok, and Ashley is…? Because I’m pretty sure you were a fucking computer nerd who never goes outside? So how exactly did one of the finest pieces of military ass I have seen show up and decide to puke in our bathroom?”

Sam woke with a start realizing that it wasn’t a dream, “How do you know she’s military? And wait excuse me, I go out!”

Maya Brooks looked at Sam like she was the craziest bitch around, “You go to stupid card tournaments and chess matches. That fucking prime in the bathroom is definitely not someone who goes to those things.”

“Are you saying I’m ugly?”

“Ok, ok wait, can we please get back to who that even is?” They were interrupted before Sam could answer.

“Um… sorry, but where am I?” The haggard stranger asked, heavily leaning on the wall.

Maya stared at Ashley before turning quickly to Sam, “DID YOU DRUG HER!?”

“WHAT!? NO OF COURSE NOT!” Sam shouted back, amazed that it had even been asked.

They didn’t hear the whimpers or the opening and closing of their cabinets, but they did hear the sound of glass shattering on the floor.

“Look,” a tired whisper came from the kitchen, “I’m sorry, I am so hung-over and everything hurts and I don’t know where I am and I’m sorry about the glass but can one of you please just—” there was hand motions towards the floor and the sink and Sam immediately jumped to help.

“Oh yes, of course, sorry.”

“Sam, what the fuck, who the fuck is this? For fuck’s sake STOP HELPING HER!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m sorry but she looks so sad and helpless!” Sam had escaped to their shared bathroom and came back with aspirin and a glass of water before sweeping up the glass.

“Great, helpless now too,” Ashley mumbled. Her eyes hadn’t opened once since Sam came back, the light giving her more of a headache. She was actually surprised she was still upright.

“Come on, you can sleep on the couch.”

”What? No she can't!”

“Shh, don’t listen to her, she just hates it when the girl’s I bring home are hotter than she is.”

“What!?”

Sam blushed when the echo came from Ashley, “Um let’s just… I didn’t say that, here just lie down and you can stay here until you feel better okay? Great!” Sam threw a pillow and throw blanket at Ashley, not even acknowledging the sputtered yelp and groan of pain before grabbing Maya and dragging her to Sam’s room.

“What the fuck, Sam?”

“I don’t know, I have no idea! She was just, she came in last night, this morning? I don’t even know what time it was.” Sam paced, “But she started crying, bawling and she just looked so sad!”

“For fucks sake you are so fucking weak when it comes to women crying!”

“You didn’t see her face! She was like a sad puppy!”

Maya rolled her eyes and glared before whispering, “Look, just, just get her out of here or something. I don’t want some drunk-ass squatting in our apartment.”

“Ok but uh, can I ask how you knew she was military? Because that is probably the most confusing thing right now.”

“A woman, a drunk woman, who neither of us know, who didn’t get in through the front door is passed out on our couch and you’re worried about how I know she’s military?”

“Um...yes?”

“I cannot fucking— she has a marine tattoo on the back of her neck. I saw it when I walked in on her regurgitating into our fucking toilet. That YOU, by the way, are cleaning for the next month.”

Sam made a face and Maya stormed out and purposely slammed her bedroom door.

“Sorry!” Sam whispered/shouted and got a whimper in response.


	2. I Just Wanted to Eat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a stressful day and all Sam wanted was to eat something.

Sam staggered towards the cafeteria. Her mind only on the food she needed to eat. She didn’t know how long she’d been in the computer lab but if her growling stomach, irritation, and exhaustion was any indication it had been for far too long.

 

Her head slammed against the door in defeat when she saw all the lights off inside. “Nooo…” She rummaged through her pockets, triumphantly pulling out a dollar and turned towards the vending machines that had been situated just outside the cafeteria for this exact situation. 

 

“Ugh really need to get out of there more often,” she muttered and supported herself on the machine with the snacks in it, watching as it sucked in her dollar. She stared at the chips moving slowly forward in anticipation. When they failed to fall she blinked, stared and made sure she wasn’t seeing things.

 

There her food was, her last dollar, hanging on by the tiniest of fucking weird ass foil or whatever the hell chip bags were made from. From talk around the office and seeing it first hand, she knew the machines had alarms on them if anyone got too physical with it. She glared after hitting the machine had no result.

 

“Fucking piece of SHIT!” She kicked out suddenly, hitting the machine as hard as was able and nearly fell to the floor in pain, “Godfucking, fuck, bloody fucking hell!” She got to her knees and rolled up her sleeves, “Ok you fucking piece of trash, I’m am getting my goddamn crisps whether you like it or not!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Her day had been boring as hell, but what did she expect as a babysitter to tech geeks? What the hell kind of company needed a shunned marine as security anyway? Fuck she really hated when she questioned it because her fucking CO sent her here and had she thrown her fucking pride and family name out the window she’d probably actually be out on the field.

 

Ashley now was trying to calm herself down, working here was slowly undoing all the mental work she had done the past decade to fortify herself against these kind of shit thoughts.

 

She quickly walked past the cafeteria, knowing it had been closed for at least two hours now, but she backpedaled when movement caught her eye.

 

She stared a good ten seconds before bursting out in surprised laughter.  

 

A red-faced woman was struggling to get her arm out of the vending machine, and looked pretty damn unsuccessful at it. Combined with the cursing and odd contorting she attempted to do to either get out or even get closer to whatever she had been reaching for, was too much and Ashley had no choice but to laugh.

 

The woman stopped and her face grew red with embarrassment, “Fuck…” 

 

Ashley had been so wound up before that the accented curse set her off again, having to catch herself on one of the tables as she bent over trying to get a breath in through her laughter.

 

“Look, can you please just help me or something?” Her words went unheard, “Goddamn it! SHUT UP!” She started to sniffle, “Oh no please stop laughing I’m so hungry and it wouldn’t, it wouldn’t,” Sam hiccuped trying her damnedest not to cry. This was so stupid, she just wanted to eat, “it got stuck and then I got stuck! Please get me out of this fucking death trap!” Her voice cracked but she was still proud of the fact that she hadn’t completely broken down yet.

 

Ashley continued to snicker, not even the least bit phased by the tears, “I’m sorry, you’re just…” she stopped for a second, finally able to catch her breath, “You’re a breath of fresh air is all.” She ignored Sam’s confused look and knelt down next to her, “Let’s get you out of this thing,” She bit her lip holding in another chuckle as Sam tried to slap her shoulder, only wince when the turning of her body had her arm going in a different direction.

 

“Please hurry up,” Sam whimpered, “I am so not into this pain thing.”

 

“Here just let me move you into a better spot.” Ashley grabbed Sam’s legs and moved them so she was sitting side by side of the machine, with Ashley straddling them. Her face flushed and she hoped to everything Ashley wasn’t watching. “Here give me your arm for a second,” Ashley placed Sam’s free arm on her shoulder, “Alright, this is probably going to hurt…” Sam slammed her face into Ashley’s shoulder trying not to shout in pain while Ashley maneuvered Sam’s arm out of the machine.

 

Once it was free Sam let her arm fall limp to her side, and whimpered, not moving. Ashley only chuckled and patted her on the back. “Come on, I was just going to grab something from outside, my treat.”


	3. Noisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the "“thats the third fucking toy you’ve played with and didn’t know how to turn off in my store pls don’t just try to awkwardly walk away i cAN SEE YOU" prompt thing... sort of anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel the need to note that I didn't really look over this one and it gets stupid at the end lol, but I don't care. I missed these two fools.

Ashley was bored out of her mind. Liara and Shepard asked her to tag along while they went shopping for their kid’s birthday and Ashley agreed. All she wanted was to get away from the constant flirting from Vega, it was nice at first, but she really did not need a relationship with a meathead right now. Years of watching Shepard and Liara had spoiled that fun for her.

She fumbled with a toy on display as the memories assaulted her. She wished she was a black-out drunk sometimes because while it was fucking incredible Ashley really didn’t want their, what started out awkward as fuck confusion of how-to with a third person, passionate night to randomly pop-up in her mind, especially in the middle of a fucking children’s store. 

With all her fumbling the toy made an ear-piercing sound and started banging little symbols and blowing whistles. “Shit!” Ashley muttered, flipping the thing over and trying to find the off switch. Unable to find it, she glanced around quickly before placing it back on the shelf and slinking away.

She found Shepard fiddling with a slinky and started to approach. She backed away quickly when three of them fell off the shelf and tangled around Shepard when she panicked at the mess. “Oh hell no,” She whispered turning down another aisle and only slightly disappointed that it wasn’t empty. 

There were two children trying to hit each other with punching gloves and turned towards Ashley with a glint in their eyes. “Whoa, hey, I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to be—” they ran towards her and Ashley tripped over something and winced as she landed on her ass. It was some kind of train from the loud whistle and chugging noise now coming out of it.

“Why is this happening?” Ashley scrambled to get up and away from the kids who stopped to laugh at her. At least they stopped coming after me. Pretty sure I’d get arrested if I tried anything.

She let out a sigh of relief when the next aisle she went down was free of crazy children, noisy toys, and trouble-magnet Shepard. Ashley reached out and grabbed the closest thing on the shelf. She poked the nose of a strangely fluffy Krogan. 

“I see you finally found something that doesn’t make a lot of noise.”

Ashley jumped and forever to this day would she deny the high pitched shriek that managed to escape her throat. She held the plush tightly to her chest while staring wide-eyed at a very annoyed store employee, “Uh…”

The woman in front of her, whose name-tag read ‘Sam’, opened her mouth to speak but turned quickly when they both heard a crash. She started to move away before quickly turning and pointing at Ashley, “Don’t move or touch anything,” She glared before adding, I can see you!” And then took off in a fast walk towards the noise.

Before she could relax she heard a muted “fuck!” And turned to see Shepard barreling towards her. “Oh no,” Ashley murmured, the aisles were too small for her to move enough out of the way and she resigned herself to the shit-storm she was sure to receive from the disgruntled employee. 

*

She opened her eyes, Sam’s faced a mix between worry and anger, “Cute.” Ashley mumbled, wondering why her head hurt.

Sam’s face reddened and Ashley could hear Shepard’s choked laughter somewhere behind her, “Well at least you aren't dead.”

“Dead? What?”

“Sorry Ash, didn’t see you—Ow! Liara what the he—ow, stop hitting me!”

“Need I remind you that there are children present, Shepard.” Ashley leaned her head back, she only just noticed she was on the floor, and saw Liara glaring at Shepard, who was surrounded by Krogan plushies.

Ashley blinked rapidly, quickly realizing the room seemed to slowly move and there were intermittent black spots, “What the hell?” she whispered, her head throbbing and she could feel an ache in her back and ribs.

“Hey, look at me, “Sam spoke softly and grabbed one of Ashley’s hands. Ashley did as she was told and was unable to keep the grin off her face.

“Hey,” Ashley ignored Shepard’s stifled laugh.

“Hi,” Sam replied back, chuckling. “Come on, think you can sit up?”

Ashley slowly nodded. Her abdominal muscles clenched in protest as she attempted to do as asked, “No, nope, not happening.” Ashley whimpered before falling back, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Breath, it’s ok,” Sam whispered, running a thumb over Ashley’s cheek. Realizing what she was doing, Sam snatched her hand back quickly and cleared her throat. “Shepard, was it?”

“Yeah?”

“Go get your friend some ice, and the chair behind the counter,” Sam glared at Shepard who nodded sheepishly.   
Sam sighed while looking around, the aisle was a mess and none of the three displays that they had crashed into survived, “This is going to take forever.”

“Ah, I believe I can help,” Liara smiled, “It’s the least I can do for the mess my bondmate caused.”

Sam looked confused until a blue light surrounded Liara, “Oh right, that.” Sam uttered in awe. She’d never actually seen biotics up close, and they were usually only referred to in a combat situation, not...placing all her displays back to what they were in under a minute. “Whoa.”

“Yeah, Liara’s kind of a bad ass,” Ashley said, relieved that she could finally take a deep breath.

Shepard came back moments later, her and Liara helping Ashley into the chair. She fidgeted with the two bags of ice she carried, “Uh where should we put these, exactly?”

Sam blinked owlishly, “Uh,” she turned to Ashley, face red, “Could you lift your shirt a bit?”

Ashley smirked, “anything you say.” In the back of her mind Ashley was yelling at herself, she obviously had a concussion because there was no way in hell she’d be this embarrassing in front of Shepard.

“Wow, smooth— Ouch! Liara, come on!” 

“Leave them alone, you’ve done enough.” Liara pushed Shepard towards the exit, “we’ll be outside, Ashley.”

Ashley slowly nodded, not paying attention. She’d finally seen the damage done and she hissed in pain when Sam pressed one of the bags of ice to her ribs, “What the hell happened?”

Sam shooed away a few concerned customers and waved off her co-workers insistence of calling an ambulance, “I think your friend is a Krogan in disguise.”

Ashley laughed loudly, regretting it instantly as pain radiated from everywhere, “Oh God, please don’t make me laugh,” Ashley groaned.

“Sorry,” Sam placed the other bag just above Ashley’s forehead, apologizing at the wince. “She hit you pretty hard, you kind of flew back into the three displays behind you.”

“Oh, that...that explains a lot.”

“Yeah, you had me worried for a bit,” Sam was slowly wrapping the ice around Ashley’s torso with something she pulled from a nearby toy. “You were out for about thirty seconds.”

“Sorry.”

Sam hesitated a brief moment, then grinned, “Normally I wouldn’t blame you for this, but you were driving me nuts earlier.”

“Purely unintentional”

“I’m sure.”

They sat in an awkward silence for a short time. Ashley cleared her throat causing Sam to jump slightly, “So uh, would you like to go out? For drinks? Or something?” Seeing the surprise on Sam’s face, Ashley quickly followed with, “As an apology?”

Sam laughed, “This is the weirdest way to get someone’s attention, but yeah, I’ll let you take me out.” Sam stood, helping Ashley up in the process, “I’ll take coffee as an apology, maybe dinner after?”

“Yes! Uh sure yes, ok?”

Sam laughed, “I need to get back to work, I’ll see you tonight.”

Ashley just noticed the paper with a number in her hand and almost skipped out of the store. 

She would definitely not let Shepard’s jokes about how smooth she wasn't ruin her day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :3


End file.
